drabbles including kaisoo, hunhan and xiuhan:his angel
- his angel [kaisoo]
- the courage to love [hunhan]
- i'll wait for you, baby [kaisoo]
- fix me [xiuhan]
All my life I wanted to be his angel.
Since high school I want him to be happy because if he's happy, I'm happy. When he finally dated a girl, I stayed on the sidelines just to see his smile. My heart breaks every time when I remind myself that the cause of his smile is not me.
When he is heartbroken, I listened to him all night, from complaints to how he miss her, I didn't dropped a tear. I finally calmed him down and put him to sleep but it was my turn to broke down because he's not smiling.
When he got sick while waiting for his crush in the rain, I took care of him. I checked his temperature time to time, I fed him medicine, I secretly put on kisses on his forehead when he's asleep but he never acknowledge.
When he was feeling down, it breaks my heart but I still plastered a smile and baked him his favourite cupcakes. Just seeing him smiling a little just because of my cupcakes, I smile too.
There was one year when he handed me a pink invitation to his wedding. I quietly took the invitation and went there. I can't congratulate him with a sincere heart so I altogether didn't congratulate him. I hid in a corner and I can't bear it anymore so I left halfway of the ceremony.
There was one year when his wife went into the hospital because of heart failure. He was in a mental breakdown so I made a choice. Without regretting anything, I donated my heart. Just to see him smile once again.
the courage to love
It's not that I liked the wrong person, but it's just I can't find the courage to love.
From the first day I stepped into high school, I started to like him. His smile makes my day and his words of encouragement have me going on. It's like the purpose of going to school is to look at him.
I know I like him very much but I can't confess my true feelings to him. I don't care if I'm hurt, I just don't want him hurt. My greatest fear is to see him unhappy. Because of this, I tried to enjoy every single day with him.
Every schoolday is precious to me and I can't possibly find another sick student like me. After years, it's finally my graduation day. The day I dread the most.
He stood in front of me, and asked, "You finally graduated. What are your feelings?" He smiled.
I couldn't contain myself but to drop a tear full of sadness, "Bye, teacher."
--i'll wait for you, baby
Jongin finally confessed to Kyungsoo after years of crushing over him.
"I like you really much, can I be your boyfriend?" Jongin asked Kyungsoo, hoping for a positive answer.
"I need time to think." Kyungsoo tried not to concentrate on Jongin's blank face.
Then, he smiled, "I'll wait for you."
The next day, Kyungsoo thought it over and decided to phone Jongin, but no one answered the phone. He tried messaging him but still no reply. He pulled on his coat and walked over to his apartment.
When he pressed the doorbell, Jongin's roommate, Sehun, answered the door with puffy eyes that looks like he cried too long.
"Didn't you know? J-Jongin died last night in a car crash." Sehun wiped a tear that rolled down his face.
Tears fell down Kyungsoo's face and broken sobs filled the hallway.
"I'll leave my heart for you, just because of your 'I'll wait for you'."Kyungsoo whispered.
The most heartwarming phrase is not 'I Love You' but 'I'll wait for you'.
fix me [xiuhan, pg]
I looked around, feeling insecured.
Loud music blasted in my ears as I tried to pretend that nothing is wrong. I walked up the stairs, heart pounding, face isn't showing any emotion, cold sweat formed on my palms. I don't know why this is happening but I have a bad feeling.
I entered the small rented room, feeling a gust of cold wind on my face.The room's unusually cold, the mirror and windows became a blur. I moved to the mirror.
The phone rang and I picked it up. "Min, I'm Luhan and I'm leaving,"
It all happened so quickly, the phone slipped out of my hands, the line went dead, all sorts of thoughts running through my mind. He can't leave, not now, not in the future, not ever.
I stared at myself in the mirror, tears streaked down my face as I pitied the broken boy in the mirror. Is it me? Is it because that I'm not enough? Is it because of me? I collapsed but eyes still staring at the reflection.
I stared at it for hours and hours, wishing I could erase my flaws, if it's my flaws that made him leave. "How could anyone ever love me?" I whispered as my voice broke into ragged sobs.
I cried and cried but nothing can fix my insecurities; nothing can fix myself.
just some of my old drabbles that i love
someone turn these into real lengthy fics cos' i sure would want to read them
and fyi, kaisoo and xiuhan are loves ;